NIELS'S TOTALLY LEGAL SHOP
Est. 2026 - No refunds. No questions. No eye contact.
Premium Danish Asbestos™
Straight from a 1970s school gymnasium. Vintage character. Artisanal carcinogens. Great for insulation, terrible for lungs. Sold "as-is." Do not inhale, touch, look at directly, or think about too hard. FDA not consulted. EU not consulted. Nobody was consulted.
- 100% organic fibers (probably)
- Aged to perfection since 1973
- Comes in a plastic bag (you're welcome)
- Not food safe
- Not anything safe
The Hat
It's a hat. We don't know where it's from. Found it. Smells fine mostly. One size fits most heads. May or may not have been worn before. Adds +12 to charisma. No scientific basis for that claim whatsoever.
- Definitely a hat
- Has a brim (probably)
- Will make you look like you own a boat
- Does not come with a boat
- No returns if it doesn't fit your head
Din indkøbskurv
Put noget i kurven.
Ordre modtaget!
Tak for dit køb. Din ordre er bekræftet og behandles af vores team på 1 person (mig).
Du købte:
Du ejer nu:
Forventet leveringstid: 2-6 uger eller aldrig
Ingen penge blev trukket. Asbesten er ikke rigtig. Hatten er måske rigtig.
Log ind for at købeNo actual asbestos is being sold. Probably. By visiting this page you agree to our terms, which don't exist. If something breaks, try chmod 777 and hope for the best.